


wish on a star

by yaxuxi



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Hurt/Comfort, Kiss Kiss Fall in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Park Woojin-centric, Pining, Temporary Character Death, like....literally a Star, road trips to busan !!, they're all still idols but woojin's a star
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 15:30:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17869874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaxuxi/pseuds/yaxuxi
Summary: “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Woojin replied, squeezing his eyes shut.“Just watch me. I always keep my promises.”Woojin is a shooting star that's burning out too quickly. He's determined to live it out with Daniel and the others by his side.





	wish on a star

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh, im still sad over disbandment sooooooo,,, have this? I was binge watching okay wanna one, and I got inspired by one of the episodes !! 
> 
> this fic is based off https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX6IHJR40js at 12:14

_ “A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back in the sky again.”  _ __ — _ JoyBell C.  _

  
  


Woojin isn’t sure when he became so accustomed to living with ten other people.

Every day he woke up with a sigh, already used to the flying kick and animalistic shriek Jihoon would greet him with. A ‘hey fucker’ ready on his lips as he blindly made his way into the bathroom, leaning his head on Jinyoung’s shoulder. 

The sight of Daniel shuffling in moments after Jinyoung was comforting, his sleepy grin a regular part of Woojin’s day. And if he smiled down at the sink at the back hug that was sure to follow—well, that was only for Woojin to know. 

Accustomed to the numerous variations of ‘hello’ he would receive after sitting in his usual seat between Jaehwan and Sungwoon at the dining table, accustomed to the bowl already being filled with rice and side dishes, accustomed to the warm hand resting on his shoulder (Jisung’s? Minhyun’s? Sometimes it was Seongwoo). 

It was rare, because of the hundreds of years he had been alive he had yet to feel this way, and it unsettled him to the very core. Woojin would stare down at his hands and listen. Listen to the way his blood thrummed, fighting against his body. 

And he realized too late; he shouldn’t have become accustomed. 

  
  
  


Woojin doesn’t really know how he ended up here.  _ Here  _ being produce 101, surrounded by young men (or children, in a few cases), while he was tested on his… singing and dancing skills. He had joined an agency out of boredom, but didn’t think he’d get so wrapped up into this world. 

“Anyone seen Woojin?” A familiar, high pitched voice echoed out the A rank training room and into the hallway, where the aforementioned was slumped against the wall. Woojin had felt a familiar pressure constricting his chest, and had used the excuse of the bathroom to escape the others. 

“I’m not sure,” Came the reply from Samuel, who sounded out of breath and distracted. Woojin grimaced; he had monitored some of the earlier episodes, and he sounded the same way. A frustrated whine could be heard a few seconds later, and Woojin knew that meant having to put up with annoyed Daehwi later at the dorms. 

“You trying to hide from  _ the  _ Lee Daehwi?” Daniel had joined him, sitting too close for comfort; Woojin could feel the heat radiating off the other. Sweat streamed down his forehead, pink hair sticking to it. 

Woojin found the human fascination with colorful hair fascinating, so much so that he had gone out and dyed his hair red with Daehwi a few weeks into the survival show. He remembered staring at himself in front of the mirror for hours, sitting absolutely still, even as Daehwi teased him with a mocking grin. The sight of Daniel’s pink hair—which he would deny if asked—had served as a huge inspiration for the spontaneous change, and Woojin had no regrets. 

“It’s one of my few skills. Thankfully, I’ve mastered it.” Woojin shrugged, giving him a wry smile. He was surprised at the peals of giggles that spilled out of Daniel’s lips, suiting the image of his bunny teeth perfectly. 

“Feel free to tell my why you’re hiding out here after dinner—in my room,” Daniel offered, standing up slowly, brushing off his hands as he awkwardly hovered there. When the words finally processed, Woojin felt his mouth fall open in shock. 

It’s not that him and Daniel weren’t friends—they just weren’t as close as the others. They had shared dinner a few times after late night practices, being the last two stragglers during the weekends, so they were always given the task of closing up. But they hadn’t talked much, too dead from practicing. Otherwise, they rarely talked during the day, if only to team up to mess around with Jisung or Seongwoo. 

But Woojin wasn’t blind. If he had learned one thing from his time on Earth, it was to know when people were watching you. He had caught the tail end of Daniel’s  _ looks _ for the past month, eyebrows furrowing in frustration every time he came close to holding eye contact with the other. No matter where he went, the feeling of being watched followed him; and it wasn’t just Daniel. Whenever Seongwoo was around, Woojin felt the weight of two pairs of eyes follow him. 

The shuffling of feet snapped him back into reality, and Woojin quickly closed his mouth, feeling a heat spread under his skin. He didn’t necessarily  _ blush,  _ but it was obvious when Woojin got flustered, coming through in a stutter in his speech. Daniel was still there, waiting for an answer. 

“I—ah—sur-re,” Woojin stumbled his way through his words, fighting the urge to hide his face in his hands. Even the bright smile and wave Daniel gave him before heading back into one of the private practice rooms wasn’t enough to make him feel better. 

Woojin gently knocked his head back on the wall, letting his eyes slide shut. A weariness that had become a permanent fixture in his body was slowly beginning to lift, finally feeling alive after years of solitude. He wasn’t used to human interaction; it wasn’t until Daehwi dragged him into late night karaoke did Woojin really understand why humans relied on one another for happiness. It was freeing, to be able to let someone else carry a small piece of the burden. 

A bitter smile pushed its way onto Woojin’s lips; alas, his burden was one that no one else could carry. 

  
  


When the moment to actually enter Daniel’s room arrived, Woojin found his feet glued to the floor in front of the door. He had waited an appropriate time after dinner, not wanting to seem too eager, wasting time with Hyungseob and Seonho in the cafe right outside their dining hall. After managing to gather his courage and make the small trek over to Daniel’s room, he realized he had no idea how to hold a conversation. 

Woojin wasn’t quite used to the atmosphere around here yet. He still found himself blustering his words, tongue heavy in his throat as he tried to force a Seoul accent out his lips, instead of the busan satoori he had become accustomed to after several decades. If Daehwi or Hyungseob (who had latched onto Woojin, so even if he wanted to get rid of the other, it was impossible) weren’t around, he would recede to the emptiest areas and mope in his self imposed solitude. 

It wasn’t so much of the act of talking itself, but rather, being able to differentiate what was appropriate to talk about with these people. Woojin curses his past self for isolating himself from society for a large chunk of his life, only truly coming out of his shell after meeting Daehwi, Youngmin, and Donghyun. Even then, Woojin had spent many silences with that trio, only later realizing that he  _ liked  _ to be loud and yell around people he was comfortable with. 

All of this summed into his current dilemma: talking to Daniel, and the other people that he could hear in there (by the yelling, it was most likely Seongwoo. Maybe even Jaehwan). Woojin took a shaky breath, wiped his hands on his sweats one last time, before hovering his fist over the door, when it suddenly swung open. 

A wide eyed Daniel stood on the other side, surprise coloring his face at Woojin, who had the exact same impression mirrored on his face. His hand awkwardly hung in the air between them, still poised to knock. 

“I was just going to look for you. How long have you been out here?” Daniel asked, head slightly tilted in confusion, slightly peeking out to look down the hallway. Woojin felt a flush spread up his neck, avoiding eye contact and clearing his throat. 

“Just got here.” Daniel raised an eyebrow, a secretive smile on his face, but didn’t say anything in response. The other simply moved aside to let Woojin in, shutting the door behind him. He was faced with the sight of Seongwoo perched on the top bunk, eyes bright and knowing. 

“Let the poor kid sit down at least,” An amused voice piped up, revealing itself to be Jisung, who was huddled under several blankets on the corner bunk. Woojin understood the feeling; the company was known to be notoriously cheap, so they tended to shut the air conditioning off after a certain time, and the cold breeze easily spread through the lightly insulated dorms. 

“Woojin, take a seat.” 

Daniel rolled his eyes playfully, gesturing to his bed (Woojin assumed. He’s not sure if it would be worse to sit in a stranger’s bed, or  _ Daniel’s  _ bed) with a caustically elegant flourish. Jisung’s leg automatically flung out to kick Daniel on his butt, who let out a choked yelp, flinging himself onto the bed at the same time as Woojin, who felt himself lift off the bed. 

“Wow, you really are skinny as Seongwoo was saying. You should eat more,” Daniel commented with narrowed eyes; they hadn’t missed how jostled Woojin had been by him, everyone’s slight protective instinct flaring, unknown to the one in question. 

“I eat just fine,” Woojin replied, unintentionally letting a hard edge creep into his voice. It’s not that Woojin didn’t eat—he just didn’t feel the  _ need  _ to. Someone like him didn’t need human food for sustenance. It helped quench the hunger, but in the end, the nutrition that Woojin needed wasn’t readily available here (another reason that Woojin continuously doubted his decision to come here, but it was too late to reconsider at this point). 

“No one’s saying you don’t,” Jaehwan, who had been fiddling with his guitar in the opposite bunk, finally spoke up, eyes wide with innocence. “We just think you should eat more.” 

“We?” Woojin let confusion color his voice, slightly leaning back to see everyone in the room properly. He caught the guilty looks all four of them shared, seemingly having a conversation in that time, as they all simultaneously looked to Daniel. 

“Some of the older trainees had just noticed that… that you don’t really eat during meal times. And I know you practice more than anyone—I see you every single time I stay late. Which means you should eat the  _ most,  _ not the least!” Daniel pointed out, rushing the last sentence in when the furrow in Woojin’s brows only got deeper. 

“We just don’t want you fainting on us during practice, Woojin,” Seongwoo added, lightly hopping off the top bunk to come take a seat next to him.

“So, you called me to talk because you don’t want me ruining practice by fainting?” Woojin asked quietly, unable to help the flat tone to his voice. 

He couldn’t stop it; Woojin felt a pang of hurt go through his body. They had called him simply to save their own asses, but he had let himself hope for a split second that maybe—just maybe—Daniel wanted to just  _ talk  _ to him. Woojin felt his lips begin to tremble, and he pushed them back into a thin line. Regardless of his age, Woojin knew he was quick to crash and burn from emotions, his heart flaring at the drop of a hat. 

“No!” Four voices called out at the same time, horror dripping from their voices. Woojin blinked up in surprise, taking in the varying levels of shock around the room. 

Jisung had actually flung aside his blankets, letting his ‘mother-hen’ mode take over. Jaehwan had gently laid his guitar on the floor, pushing himself to the edge of the bed. Seongwoo’s hand was pressed to the small of his back, rubbing small circles into it. But the heat around Woojin’s thigh was the most distracting. 

A subtle glance to his left, and Woojin saw Daniel staring into his eyes with the beginnings of fondness, hand enveloping his thigh in a comforting gesture. Woojin looked away immediately, feeling his throat close up at the burning sensation. 

“We care about you, Woojin,” Daniel softly broke the silence, hand moving away from his thigh to rest on Woojin’s shoulder. It felt heavy, just laying there. Woojin took a shuddering breath, lips twisting into a frown at his frivolous reaction. 

“We just want you to take care of yourself. Everyone does,” Jisung added, stepping forward to ruffle Woojin’s hair. He melted under the touch, feeling his muscles slowly relax. Woojin didn’t trust easily, but the serene feeling right now was worth lowering his walls. 

A loud clatter came from outside the room, before the door was flung open, revealing a massive pile of boys falling to the ground. Woojin instantly recoiled, fidgeting when Daniel and Seongwoo’s arms stopped him from getting too far. He recognized most of the faces in the pile; Daehwi, Samuel, Sewoon, Hyungseob, Seonho, Taehyun, Sungwoon, and countless other people were pulling themselves off the floor with loud groans. 

“Did you tell him to eat more?” Came the question from Minhyun, who calmly walked out from behind the crowd, arms crossed over his chest sternly. Woojin pouted, wondering if everyone was in on this…  _ intervention.  _

“We were kind of in the middle of that,” Jaehwan retorted, but amusement flashed in his eyes, revealed by the upward curl of his lips. 

“Ah, Woojinie, don’t be mad at us. They wouldn’t stop asking me, and all I told them was that you were the same back at Brand New,” Daehwi rushed to defend himself, throwing his hands up when Woojin turned his narrowed eyes on the younger. Various calls of agreement followed him, which turned into people slowly thinning out of the room, satisfied with the end result. 

“From now on, we’re having every meal together, Woojinie.” Minhyun came to stand in front of him, eyes squinting at the innocent look Woojin was attempting to sport. The elder looked unimpressed, eyes narrowing further. 

“Ah, wh—” 

“No if, ands, or buts, Woojin. Listen to your elders,” Jisung interrupted, joining Minhyun to stare down at him. Woojin frowned again, dissatisfied that he hadn’t even gotten the chance to whine his way out of this. 

“I’ll eat with you too?” Daniel said more than asked, but everyone could hear how the end of his sentence pitched upwards, turning it into a question. Woojin could feel the weight of several eyes on him as he turned to Daniel, whose cheeks were dusted pink. 

“Yeah, you’d like eat _ hi _ —” Seongwoo was cut off by a sharp elbow driving into his stomach, but Woojin barely noticed, focused on the disarming smile on Daniel’s face. 

“I’d like that,” Woojin replied, lowering his head bashfully at the little snicker Daehwi gave from behind. He was going to kill that brat later. 

  
  


Meal times became a lot louder, thanks to Daniel and Minhyun joining, who inevitably brought many more people with them. Somehow, Woojin’s regular seat became the spot in between Daniel and Seongwoo, which had spilled into trainee life as well. The two were always quick to wave him over during practice, noogies and back hugs greeting him. 

Daniel was definitely the clingier of the two, draping himself over Woojin during breaks, pulling Woojin around by the hand during their free time in the city, even snoring into Woojin’s shoulder at the dorms, one arm wrapped around his waist. He got to know the other much better by extension, spending all of their spare time exchanging stories and rambling about hypothetical scenarios (they had accidentally wrapped everyone in the surrounding area into an extremely heated discussion about cats vs dogs, ending in a yelling match). 

Seongwoo was quieter with his shows of affection, reminding Woojin of how he had seen siblings act around each other. He was quick to tease Woojin during practice, slinging an arm around his neck and bringing him in for a noogie before running away. During dinner, an extra piece of meat would magically appear on Woojin’s plate, Seongwoo’s deft hands placing it there before he could catch him. 

Woojin got used to it, though. He got used to waking up for runs with Daniel in the morning, whining and grumbling his way through the first ten minutes. He got used to having Daehwi (or Jinyoung on certain days) worm his way into Woojin’s bed during the night, curling up next to him because the younger claimed he was ‘warm like a heater.’ Got used to the older boys constantly attempting to take care of him, disappointed frowns hounding him if Woojin didn’t take care of himself properly. He got used to feeling like the tiny, wooden beds were home, falling into them without a second thought after a long day of training. 

 

“Do you guys think stars exist?” Daniel asked over breakfast one morning, absentmindedly chewing on rice, clear by the small piece stuck to his chin. Woojin snorted, reaching over to quickly wipe it off before realizing he had asked a question. 

“The stars we see in the sky?” Seongwoo rose his eyebrow, sharing a wide-eyed, amused look with Woojin. Daniel quickly back tracked, trying to explain what he had meant. 

“No, no. I meant a few of those stories that have been trending about how stars that crashed on Earth,” Daniel’s voice dropped, leaning in, “live amongst us as humans.” 

A pin drop silence followed, letting the words sink in. Woojin immediately felt his body stiffen, a familiar pressure beginning to press in on him. He stared at Daniel, unblinking, unsure of how to answer. Woojin’s lips were pressed into a tense, thin line, but he knew he had to say something to avoid suspicion. 

“I highly doubt it,” Minhyun was the first one to reply, crossing his legs as he leaned back from his finished plate. A contemplative look crossed over his face, deep in thought. “It certainly would be fascinating if that was the case, though.” 

“I know, right?! A star—but as a human?” Daniel’s eyes flashed with excitement, barely able to constrain himself as he wiggled in his seat. Woojin nodded along uneasily, noticing the expectant look Daniel gave him. 

“What would they even look like? Would they age?” Sungwoon, who had joined their table with Taehyun yesterday, questioned, seemingly as taken by the concept as the rest of the table. Daehwi, their resident skeptic, looked interested as well, head tilted in thought. 

“No,” Woojin replied on instinct, flushing when everyone’s eyes flew to him. Daniel’s gaze was the heaviest, eyes practically sparkling because of the topic. 

“I mean,” Woojin began, carefully weighing his next words, “if a star really turned into a person, they wouldn’t age like humans, right? Stars age, but over a much larger span of time, so their human body would act the same way.” 

“That was surprisingly insightful of you, Woojinie.” Seongwoo gave him an impressed look after a few beats of silence, shooting him a thumbs up. Daniel was still watching him carefully, an unidentifiable look on his face. 

“Than—wait a minute,  _ surprisingly _ ?” Woojin squinted his eyes at Seongwoo, who shot him a smug smirk. A second passed, and he lunged out to grab Seongwoo from across Daniel, who blasted away at the first sign of movement from Woojin. 

Daniel’s laughter and Seongwoo’s exaggerated shrieking spread through the relatively empty cafeteria, nearly bursting everyone’s eardrums, but Woojin wouldn’t be anywhere else. 

  
  


When his name was called as sixth place, Woojin thought he was dreaming. He vaguely remembers high pitched screaming, moving through the crowd like a zombie, barely noticing the people he hugged and received pats from. The memory of a warm hand cupping his cheek floats to the front of his mind, but other than that, Woojin’s mind is blank as he moves to the front of the stage. 

The view from the top was better than any star he had ever seen. 

  
  


“Get up and grab your blankets! Sleepover in the main room.” Guanlin had burst into Woojin’s room, swiftly pulling out the headphones the elder had on. 

Woojin grumbled, shooting him an unimpressed look, but complied. He had taken to humoring the younger, which had translated into Guanlin throwing caution to the wind and talking to Woojin like they were the same age. He stood there with a wide smirk on his face, patiently waiting for Woojin to get up. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Woojin replied, stretching with a loud pop as he stood up, gathering his blanket and pillow in his hands. Guanlin gave him a satisfied smile before leaving, no doubt going to Sungwoon’s room to give him the same message. 

It had been a week since they moved into the dorm, but they hadn’t really had time to just… hang out. With their debut date drawing closer and closer, they had been loaded with back to back schedules, leaving barely any time for eating, let alone sleeping. Woojin had sufficed fine off not eating at all, dividing his portion amongst the members that looked especially dead (see: Yoon Jisung, Kang Daniel, and everyone “younger” than him). He also had slept a total of one hour and thirty five minutes in the past week, practicing into the early hours. 

Woojin shuddered, thinking about the severe scolding he would receive if the older boys discovered his habits. He couldn’t quite explain to them that he didn’t  _ need  _ to eat or sleep, so it would just look like he was making his life hard on himself. 

“Woojin! Come here,” Daniel made exaggerated hand motions, impatiently beckoning Woojin to his side on the floor, where he had already made them a little nest of sorts. Woojin rolled his eyes, the large grin on his face betraying his feelings as he ambled over to the other, plopping down next to him. 

Daniel immediately wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling Woojin into his side. He slung his right leg over Daniel’s left, squirming until he was comfortable, leaning back on the pile of pillows behind them. Woojin always felt his body heat up around Daniel, a familiar warmth collecting in the pit of his stomach, turning the tips of his ears red. 

“How are you always so hot?” Daniel whispered, eyes roaming up and down Woojin’s figure, which was honestly, quite unimpressive as of this moment. He was wearing a pair of ratty pajamas from the back of his closet, even sporting tiny rips in the seams of the pants. 

“Wow, at least treat me to dinner after that flirting,” Woojin deadpanned, keeping a straight face even as Daniel’s mouth fell open in shock. 

“Yah! You little perv, I didn’t mean it like that,” Daniel insisted loudly, fingers tazing Woojin’s side, causing hysterical giggles to erupt. Woojin shook with laughter, letting out a desperate wheeze when Daniel didn’t relent with his tickling. 

The others, who were slowly filing into their respective spots, gave them curious looks, but didn’t ask too many questions. Seongwoo raised an eyebrow at Woojin, but dropped it when he shook his head, still giggling. They were all used to the two’s antics by now, treating Woojin’s unexplainable laughter as the norm. 

“I meant—ugh, stop laughing, I swear Wooj—how is your body so… warm all the time? You’re like a furnace, even when it’s cold out,” Daniel said, more as an observation than a question, a puzzled look on his face. 

He was slightly leaning forward to look at Woojin, hair parted like curtains, still slightly wet from a shower as it fell to cover his face. A peculiar feeling settled its way into Woojin’s heart at the way Daniel’s cheeks were flushed pink, spreading down his neck to his revealed collar bones, and he darted his eyes away before they dropped lower. The distance between them had shortened considerably, and if Woojin moved even a centimeter, his nose would be pressed against Daniel’s cheek. 

Woojin grimaced, looking away for a moment; he couldn’t exactly tell the other that hydrogen and helium pumped through his veins at an extremely high temperature (well, much,  _ much  _ lower than it used to be), nearly scorching him alive. Thankfully, Woojin was saved from answering by Jisung’s loud clap, grabbing everyone’s attention. 

“Truth or dare?” 

  
  


Throughout the night, they had jumped from a variety of topics, hopping around as they pleased. Truth or dare had barely lasted twenty minutes, the boys quickly growing bored with the repetitive and childish queries. They had briefly entertained the possibility of going to the outdoor balcony, but had vetoed the idea the second Jihoon had opened the door a crack, letting in a gust of freezing wind. The switching on of the tv had devolved into loud, out of tune karaoke, which eventually turned into Jinyoung passionately singing whatever he wanted while Daehwi did the backup verses. 

After expending most of their energy, a strange silence fell over them, almost asking to be broken. 

“I miss home,” Came the whispered confession from Jaehwan, who was tucked into Minhyun’s side, eyes drooping from the hour. A murmured assent spread around the room, dropping the mood into a more somber one. 

The conversation had lulled, most of the members scrolling through their phones or quietly whispering to each other. Woojin had been engaged in a heated battle with Daniel over Superstar SM, switching the phone back and forth between each other (he kept losing to the other in a SHINee song, which was putting his position as the resident Shawol at risk). But that one sentence snapped them all out of it. 

“It feels like it’s been years since I saw the sea,” Daniel added, repositioning himself so his chest was pressed against Woojin’s back, arms loosely wrapped around the red head’s waist. Daniel’s chin was propped up on his shoulder, so Woojin could feel his words vibrating through his whole body. 

Woojin ignored the pull in his gut, turning his attention on Daehwi, who was across from him. In turn, he should have realized that wasn’t much better, scowling at the tiny smirk on the younger’s face. He stuck his tongue out in response, ignoring how Daehwi’s smirk only grew. 

“Ah, don’t get me started on how much I miss Busan,” Minhyun groaned, letting his head drop onto the back of the couch, drawing chuckles from everyone. Woojin nodded, thinking back on the years he had spent in Busan. It had been the height of his life on Earth, days spent by the beach, lost in thought to the tune of the ocean. 

“And my mom’s cooking. I think I’m going to die from all this convenience store food,” Jinyoung whined, shooting the cup ramen he was holding a dirty look. 

“I miss my parents so much, I think I’m really going crazy,” Jihoon lamented dramatically, falling back onto a pile of pillows with an ‘oof.’ Woojin felt his throat tighten at the direction the conversation had taken, knowing he wouldn’t have anything to add to it. 

“When we get a break, we should do something like that show—go visit everyone’s homes,” Sungwoon suggested with a slightly loopy smile, sitting up on his elbows so the room could see him.

Excited grins replaced everyone’s previous melancholy looks, visibly brightening the ambience of the room. Woojin felt the beginnings of a grimace on his lips, the corners of them pulling down. While they all moved in one direction, he felt his mind turn in the other, souring his mood. 

“Imagine all the delicious cooking,” Jisung sighed dreamily, already lost into his fantasy world. Seongwoo chuckled, but nodded along. 

“Minhyun and I can take you all on a tour around Busan, and with our moms’ cooking, it’ll be even bett—ah, wait, Wooj! You’re from Busan too, right? You can help us too!” Daniel suddenly sat up with vigor, leaning forward so he could see Woojin, who quickly attempted to force a smile onto his lips. 

“Mmh,” Daehwi was the one to answer with an anxious smile, cutting through the silence that had gone on longer than accepted. “Hyung doesn’t… Woojin, should I tell them, or do you want to?” 

Woojin was flooded with gratefulness for Daehwi in that moment, whose eyes had softened at the tightness in the elder’s gaze, hand reaching out to grab his. He squeezed Daehwi’s hand once, not quite letting go as he looked up to meet the others’ looks. 

“I’ll tell them. I—” Woojin’s voice broke slightly, choosing to focus on Daniel, but nearly faltering under the gaze. His eyes shone in the minimum lighting, filled with a kindness that Woojin didn’t understand. 

“I’m from Busan, but… I don’t really have a family. I’ve lived alone since I was fifteen.” Woojin swallowed, looking away from their inquisitive eyes. It was as close to the truth as he could come, but it made his stomach twist up to have to be deceptive to these people. He knew if he looked into their caring eyes he might spill everything, as he had been tempted to do to Daehwi over the years. 

“So, I could take you all around Busan, but we won’t get to eat my mom’s cooking,” Woojin finished with a small, sad smile, not even realizing that his hands were trembling until another, warmer pair covered them. He glanced up to see Daniel watching him with an indescribable look, hands enveloping Woojin’s much smaller ones. 

“Where do you go to remember them? Is there a tomb?” Jaehwan asked, voice hushed as he edged closer to Woojin; a glance up and around the room revealed that all of them had positioned themselves into a tight circle around Woojin, spreading warmth in his chest. 

“No, it’s—I go to the sea banks—at night,” Woojin blurted out, shame coloring his words. It was difficult to explain why his family didn’t have tombstones, because his family wasn’t exactly _earthly_. He had taken Daehwi to his spot once, but the younger had only been left with even more questions. 

Woojin expected more questions, but the room fell silent after a small murmur of ‘oh’ from various members. The members slowly began to settle down, a comfortable silence spreading through the room as they made their way under the blankets. 

A tug, and Woojin was pulled down next to Daniel, pressed as close as humanly possible to him, arms and legs tangled in a mess of limbs. But Woojin found that he didn’t mind, naturally resting his head on the other’s chest. A gentle hand began to run through his hair, soothing in the way that made Woojin’s eyes flutter shut. 

“Sleep, Woojinie,” Was the last thing that fell from Daniel’s lips, the sound of Jaehwan faintly singing filling Woojin’s mind as he drifted off. 

  
  


Jihoon had once told Woojin he was  _ ‘too distant. It’s like, no matter how hard we try, we just can’t reach you.’  _ The words stuck with him, another weight on his shoulders whenever the members had free time to spend time with each other. It reflected in the way he flinched away from deeper conversations, the guilt that made his hands shake during skinship. 

Daniel had noticed once, before a concert, but Woojin had mumbled something about nerves, letting himself be drawn into a tighter hug. A knowing guilt had ripped through Woojin all night; he knew what he was doing wasn’t right, he knew he had a time limit the others didn’t have. The burn in his chest, and the way his eyes glowed in the dark solitude of the bathroom at night told Woojin he didn’t belong, and he didn’t know how long he could keep it inside anymore. 

 

“How does it feel now that you’re 20, kid?” Minhyun asked, easy going smile on his face. Woojin grunted, wondering how the other managed to look refreshed so early in the morning. He slumped into his seat next to an equally sleepy Daniel, pondering the question. 

“Adding two more zeroes would probably be more accurate,” Woojin mumbled under his breath, before quickly sitting up to return something resembling a smile. 

“Feels nice. Good to know I can drink now.” 

“ _ Legally  _ drink. Don’t think I don’t know what you and the kids get up to,” Jisung pointed out, shooting Woojin a suspicious look, who sheepishly smiled in return. A gentle hand on his thigh turned his attention over to Daniel, who had a hopeful look on his face. 

“The managers gave me the green light for a trip to Busan, and…” Daniel trailed off, pulling his bottom lip in with his teeth, revealing a hint of his bunny teeth. Woojin ignored the tiny fluttering in his stomach at the sight of Daniel’s messed up hair and pink lips, prodding him to continue. 

“Iwaswonderingifyouwantedtocome,” Daniel rushed out in one exhale, looking far too nervous. Woojin took a moment to process the words, before they registered in his head. He instantly shot Minhyun an alarmed look, who still sat there with an insouciant smile. 

“What about Minhyun?” 

“Well I don’t want Minhyun to come, I want you to come. It’s your birthday, not his,” Daniel whined, resting his head on Woojin’s should with a huff. Woojin felt himself relax at the bright laughter from Minhyun, who still looked upon them calmly. 

“I can’t go because of schedules, anyways. Plus, I want you kids to have some fun. We didn’t get to really go out for your birthday, so this is your chance, Wooj.”

Minhyun shared an innocent smile with them, but Woojin didn’t miss the teasing look in his eyes when he turned to look at Daniel. Woojin gave Minhyun a grateful smile anyways; it felt like he hadn’t rested in years, a tenseness added to his body that hadn’t been there before. He would take any break he could get. 

“And the managers already said yes about you coming, so you can’t say no,” Daniel insisted, even going as far as to cross his arms and pout, eyes wide. Woojin felt a tiny part of his heart melt, and found himself nodding. 

“Okay, I’ll go. I’ve been missing Busan.” Woojin smiled a little ruefully, thinking about how long it had been since he visited his old haunts. And to think, this time, he would get to bring Daniel with him. His heart felt full, the sight of Daniel’s excited grin and the prospect of a trip away from the hectic idol life bring a serene calm to his mentality. 

“I’m going to be driving us,” Daniel said smugly, leaning back in his chair with a satisfied grin. “Seongwoo and Minhyun have been teaching me, so I’m basically a pro.” 

Woojin couldn’t help but snort in response, but he trusted Daniel. Anyways, the trip wouldn’t really be the same if they had a manager drive them; it would only intrude on the thin layer of intimacy around the location and people. He knew from experience that the trip could take upwards of eight to nine hours with stops, but it should be fine. 

“Wait a second, you already asked the managers _about_ me without asking _me_?” 

The purely comical aspect to the horrified look on Daniel’s face before he abruptly got up and blasted away was the only thing that stopped Woojin from running after him, too busy keeling over with laughter. Minhyun only looked on with a vaguely amused smile, waving away inquiries from Sungwoon and Jaehwan, who had sleepily shuffled into the kitchen.

Woojin found himself counting down the days to the trip, mood growing lighter with every passing day. His smile grew as the large, circled date on his calendar drew closer. 

  
  
  


“I regret agreeing to drive,” Daniel bemoaned two hours into the trip, gaping at the miles of traffic ahead of them. Woojin grunted, still sleepy from being essentially manhandled into the car at 6 AM, barely having time to shove a piece of toast into his mouth. Daniel was looking as equally messy, hair not quite laying flat on his head and clothes crinkled. 

“Well, good luck. Only like,” Woojin mockingly checked his empty wirst, “six more hours of this.”  

“Get some sleep, Wooj. I know you were up playing games last night.” Daniel gave him a knowing look out of the corner of his eyes, amusement tugging his lips up. Woojin shrank in his sight, mortified at the fact that everyone knew of his nightly habits. 

“It’d be easier on you if I knew how to drive. Maybe we should have brought a manager, instead of you driving the whole time,” Woojin said instead, a little mournfully as he glanced over Daniel, who already looked tired of being behind the wheel. 

“I wanted to. I didn’t want any stingy managers coming with us on the trip—it would ruin it,” Daniel replied, shooting Woojin a peaceful smile, which he found himself returning.

“But… why  _ me _ ? Why not Minhyun? Or Seongwoo?” Woojin asked the one question that had been weighing on his mind the most for the past few days, even depriving him of sleep. Daniel hadn’t acted any different after asking him to join him on this almost intimate trip, and it had been driving Woojin insane. 

“Because you’re  _ you.  _ Someone I can be myself around, always.” 

The matter of fact way Daniel responded made Woojin speechless, darting incredulous looks at the man next to him, who had the same calm smile from earlier. His stomach felt like it had turned to mush, and Woojin could feel his entire body steadily heating up; he was scared that he would burn a hole right through the car if he blushed more, skin feeling dangerously hot. 

Woojin gulped, and stared out the window with determination, desperately willing his body to return to normal. He missed the way Daniel’s cheeks were a similar red, burning bright in the morning light. 

  
  


The sight of the slowly darkening sky brought comfort to Woojin, gently easing the tension out of his body as he led Daniel through the forest of rocks, looking back every once in a while to make sure the other hadn’t gotten lost. He was keeping up relatively well, wide eyes trained on the never ending ocean sprawled out to their right. 

“Here,” Woojin announced, a bright smile lighting up his face as he stumbled upon his spot; it was a small clearing of flat rocks positioned in a straight line right at the edge of the sea. It was so close that the spray of the ocean would hit you with every wave, and the smell of the sea pervaded your senses. 

They quickly laid out the blankets they had brought along, pulling it over their shivering bodies as they sat down, shoulder to hip pressed against each other. The clink of the bottles they had bought at the convenience store hours ago filled the night, creating a melancholy tune with the beating of the waves. The silence blanketed the night, bringing a type of comfort that only homemade food could bring. 

“What’s so special about this spot?” If anyone else had asked, the question would seem blunt, and unfeeling. But the way Daniel’s eyes had softened, the way their fingers were tangled together, the way it felt like Woojin was drowning in his presence—he knew it was anything but. 

“It lets me see the stars,” Woojin replied simply, but the rueful, aching quirk to his lips let them both know that it was more than that. It was a place where he could smell the sea, let the intimidating night sky hang over him, and feel human, if only for that night. He could hear the blood thrumming under his skin, close his eyes under the feeling of his hair gently whispering against his forehead, dig his nails into the damp sand. 

“My grandmother always told me that our loved ones return to the stars. They twinkle down at us from up there,” Daniel whispered after a few sips of his drink, eyes bright in the rapidly approaching darkness. 

Woojin had taken great care to conceal the glow around his eyes for the past years, and he had felt tempted to not wear contacts tonight. But… it just wasn’t the right time; Woojin knew he had made the right decision, listening to Daniel talk about stars as if they were fantastical things, lips glossy and cheeks flushed from cheap soju. 

A warm arm curled its way around Woojin’s waist, pulling the two of them closer than before. Woojin took a shuddering breath, letting his fingers intertwine with Daniel’s, giving them a squeeze, if only to see the pleased smile brighten the other’s face. 

Woojin and Daniel were at the edge of a cliff, dancing around each other and waiting for one of them to reach out and  _ push _ . He felt out of breath, throat tight with emotion as Woojin made flitting eye contact with the other, whose eyes crinkled in joy. Their cheeks were almost touching, breath mingling with each other; the scent of peach soju and chewing gum filled his sense, and Woojin let his eyes flutter shut. 

It ached. His heart felt ripped apart, barely held together at the seams. Everyday he spent with the others—especially Daniel—felt like an inside joke, except he was the only one aware of it. He found his late night laughter turning into hidden sobs, frustration heightening when he couldn’t even force real tears past his lids. The sight of glowing stardust tracking his cheeks, the feeling of his inner elements actively battling against his skin, the violent beating of his core against his chest—it was driving Woojin to the brink. Every night was sleepless; he became intimate with the Seoul skyline, spending his time in the streets. 

For most of his existence, it had been just Woojin and his thoughts. But then Daniel, and the rest of the group crashed into his life, infectious smiles and overflowing love changing his previous thoughts. Woojin had wanted to just… extinguish his life force for the longest time, growing violent in his attempts. 

And just when he was nearing the date for his wish to be actualized, he changed. It had been a ridiculously normal day when everything came crashing down around him. 

Woojin realized he wanted to live. 

 

_ “Ah, Ah, Ah, AH!” Jaehwan’s vocal warm ups could be heard everywhere in the dressing room, as well as the echoes of some of the other members mimicking him moments later. Jaehwan responded with a thrown shoe, shaking his fist at the younger ones.  _

_ Woojin was slumped next to Jisung, eyes pressed shut as his headache mounted, the background noise not helping. The leader’s hand was running through his hair, the repetitive motion slightly easing the pressure building in his head. Woojin scowled when the screaming failed to cease, moving further down the seat.  _

_ “What’s wrong, Woojinie?” Jisung asked, moving his hand from Woojin’s hair to the curve of his neck, rubbing his thumb along his nape. Woojin let out a weak grunt, sounding more like a sigh than anything.  _

_ “You feeling okay?” Minhyun’s soft voice came from in front of him, a warm weight on Woojin’s knee. He could hear the other shift till he was kneeling in front of Woojin, eyes opening a crack to see worry lining his face.  _

_ “He didn’t sleep last night,” Another voice added, and Woojin’s glanced over to see Daniel on his other side, a similar kind of worry—but something more—on his face. He squirmed under the attention, wishing everyone would just stop talking and let him rest. They were only waiting on Jaehwan’s solo stage, and then they would get to go home.  _

_ “My head hurts,” Woojin whined, shifting so his body weight rested on Daniel’s side, letting the other intertwine their fingers. He hid the small comfort that brought him by pushing his face into the other’s shoulder, closing his eyes again. “And it’s too loud.”  _

_ A hand quickly rubbed his neck, the sound of Daniel humming under his breath gently lulling him to sleep. But the noises from the others continued to drive him crazy, and Woojin visibly flinched at the sound of Guanlin and Jinyoung screaming to Jaehwan about something. He loved them, he really did, but sometimes Woojin wished they knew how to be quiet.  _

_ Woojin flinched again, but this time, an abrupt silence fell over the dressing room. He could hear hushed whispers, but it felt like a plush blanket for his mind, finally letting his body relax. The stress in his body slowly melted out, and his body molded itself to the folds and lines of Daniel’s body, half on his lap at this point.  _

_ The running of a hand through his air began again, but it was clearly Daniel’s hand this time, the fingers much longer and encompassing. Woojin preened under the touch, letting out a pleased sigh at the sudden silence of the room. He fell asleep to the hushed singing and breathing of his members, a content smile wrapped around his lips.  _

 

Woojin didn’t realize until much later that the others had gone quiet for him, forgoing their time to mess around for  _ him.  _ His heart felt so full it could burst, and he couldn’t help the small smile at the memory. His eyes watered under the crisp night air, and he knew Daniel could sense the change in mood. 

“I want to be with you longer, Niel. My time is too short,” Woojin choked out, throat tightening as he fought back tears. His words wouldn’t resonate with Daniel the way the thought had hit Woojin, but he knew it would invoke similar emotions. 

“Is this about... ? Wooj, there’s still a long time till di—” 

“I know. Trust me, I know,” Woojin cut him off, angling his head so he could meet Daniel’s gaze head on, unshed tears glistening in both of their eyes. 

_ God,  _ it fucking hurt so much. Woojin knew they felt pain for different reasons, but in the end, the cause was the same: the fear that came from separation. Woojin had never wanted to spill his secrets to anyone so bad, but he knew this was his burden to carry, not Daniel’s. He let tears well in the hollows of his eyes, but didn’t let them spill. 

“I’ll always stay with you. I won’t leave you,” Daniel whispered back, voice just as rough and broken as Woojin’s. His voice shook, and Woojin felt crushed at the sight of a small tear rushing down the other’s face. 

Their drinks laid forgotten at their sides, tipped over onto the rocks. Soju dripped down the sides, painting the ground black. Woojin watched the tiny drops of soju fall, and he imagined, if he could cry, it would look similar to that. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Woojin replied, squeezing his eyes shut. He wanted to scream, kick something, punch someone—anything to stop this feeling of hopelessness from consuming him. It ate at him, making his fingers curl into a fist. Woojin hated that Daniel couldn’t keep that promise, no matter how hard he tried. 

“I will. I  _ will  _ keep it, Wooj,” Daniel’s voice carried over the rushing of the waves, something about it making Woojin turn his head to look at the other. His eyes were ablaze with emotion, shining with the stars of the night sky. Woojin knew if he was standing he would fall down, his knees weak from the weight of the stare. 

“Just watch me. I always keep my promises.” 

  
  


Their last full day in Busan was spent in the attic of Daniel’s childhood home, surrounded by forgotten memories, and a memory in the making. Earlier, Woojin had been unceremoniously shoved into the bathroom with a set of hastily picked clothes from Daniel’s closet after he had whined about the other forgetting to do laundry. 

Woojin held up the far too big sweatpants in his hand, lightly chuckling as he shoved his legs into it, tying the strings as tight as he could. He pulled on the cream turtleneck Daniel had given him as well, taking a quick glance in the mirror, before bursting into laughter. He looked like a small child, practically swimming in the clothes. 

“How cute,” Daniel cooed the instant Woojin stepped outside, reaching out to ruffle his hair (which Woojin  _ could  _ avoid, but he didn’t, enjoying the feeling of Daniel’s hand run through his hair). 

“I am not cute. You’re cute,” Woojin retorted, grinning smugly when he saw Daniel falter, turning back at him with pink cheeks. 

“I—just, follow me, dumbass. My mom said we could look through the old boxes in the attic.” Daniel waved him forward with a roll of his eyes, ignoring the indignant ‘hey! I’m not a dumbass!’ 

After some grumbling and their usual charade of lightly shoving each other around (unlike that one time it got too serious, and Daniel had sorely underestimated their weight difference, nearly catapulting Woojin off the stage), they made their way into the attic. Once the dust cleared off his vision, Woojin’s lips formed a tiny ‘o.’ 

“This is basically my entire childhood,” Daniel told him, a little twinkle in his eye as he grabbed Woojin’s hand and led him over to the massive pile of boxes and albums, threatening to fall over from the height. 

“It’s insane that you still have all of this,” Woojin said out loud in wonder, already flipping through the first album he had seen; he giggled at a picture of baby Daniel, chubby cheeks red from the cold of the pile of snow he was sitting in. 

“You don’t?” Daniel asked flippantly, before violently flinching. “Ignore me—forget I asked that.” 

“It’s alright. I get the same type of joy looking through your baby photos, anyways,” Woojin replied, grinning at the tongue Daniel stuck out at him. They returned to their respective albums, the sound of turning pages filling the attic. 

After blankly staring at the side of Daniel’s head for some time, Woojin realized something with startling clarity; the two of them were almost like magnets. Even with all the space in the attic, the two were pressed up against each other from shoulder to thighs. Their elbows automatically adjusted for each of their movements, atesting to how used to each other’s presence they were. His heart swelled at how normal it had become for them. Rather, it felt abnormal to be away from the other for too long. 

“Something on my face?” Daniel suddenly turned his head, the bright grin on his lips dying as he realized how close they were. If Woojin moved just an inch, their lips would be touching (and god, how he wanted to close that distance). 

“I—I—no. Nothing.” Woojin’s eyes darted down to glance at Daniel’s lips without his consent, before quickly jumping back up to his eyes once he realized what he was doing. But it was too late; Daniel had already noticed, mirroring Woojin’s actions with a satisfied smile. 

“Want something to be on  _ your _ face?” Daniel asked, voice dropping a few octaves as he leaned as close as he possibly could without letting their lips touch. Before Woojin could even began to analyze that terrible line, they were kissing. 

And kissing Daniel was everything, and so much more. The album slipped out of his hands, crash ignored by both as they deepened the kiss, hands fisted in each other’s hair. Their noses were smashed against each other, their hands were fumbling half the time, but it felt perfect. The scent was a congruence of peaches and books filling Woojin’s senses, mixing in a pleasant way. 

Woojin felt a hand snake around his waist, nearly lifting him off the floor as Daniel adjusted their position, fixing the angle of their mouths. His tongue darted out, pleased at the small sigh Daniel let out as he teased his mouth open. Woojin felt warm all over, but the burning sensation was pleasant, swirling in his stomach. 

Their kisses continuously changed tempo, slowing and speeding like they were driving down a curving road. A hand wrapped around the bend of his knee, and before he knew it, Woojin had moved up and over till he was straddling Daniel, a beneficial position for both of them. Woojin wrapped one arm around Daniel’s shoulders, the other curling into the loose fabric of his hoodie. 

“I regret letting you wear this turtleneck. Too hard to leave marks now,” Daniel whispered, voice thick from the lack of talking, one hand coming up to play with the top of the shirt. Woojin scowled, pulling the collar of the shirt down in one swift motion before shooting the other a look that said, ‘boom, problem gone. Now kiss the hell outta me.’ 

If there was one thing he could say about Daniel, it was that he knew how to follow directions. Woojin hissed at the cold feeling against his neck, but warmed up to it seconds later as Daniel’s plush lips kissed over the stinging bite. He arched his neck, melting into Daniel’s lap as he licked and bit his way up Woojin’s neck. Woojin’s eyes fluttered shut at the open mouthed kisses pressed against his jaw, the heat spreading. 

Their lips connected again, and it was easier this time. Woojin could feel Daniel smiling into the kiss, and he couldn’t help but mirror him. Woojin licked into Daniel’s mouth, breathless at how pleasantly agitated it made Daniel, his fingers digging deeper into his thighs. His hands were loosely wrapped around Daniel’s shoulders, mostly held up by the wide hands under his thighs. 

When they pulled away, all they could do was dumbly stare at each other. Woojin was still in Daniel’s lap, flushed from head to toe as he fought to maintain eye contact. He grinned a little at Daniel’s appearance; his hair was ruffled beyond recognition, and the lip tint he had swiped across his lips had migrated down to his cheek. (Woojin suspected he looked similar, but Daniel would always look funnier to him). 

“Before you say anything,” Woojin cut Daniel off, who had opened his mouth at the same time. “I cannot believe you used the lamest line known to man to kiss me.” 

“Listen. My brain was malfunctioning because of how close you were, and originally I was going to ask you to date me with some pick up line because of my baby pictures, but then your lips were _right there,_ and they looked so soft, and you looked so cute, and I just really, _really_ wanted to kiss you.” Daniel’s ramble eventually came to a stop, looking slightly winded from the rapid speed he shot those words out at. 

“Hold on. You planned all this out?” Woojin questioned, eyes wide at the implications. Did that mean Daniel had been holding those intentions for this trip since the very beginning? Woojin felt the blush steadily returning, a heat building in his chest. 

“Really?  _ That’s _ what you get out of all of that?” 

“What else am I supposed to get?” Woojin tilted his head in confusion, hair flopping around and nearly blocking the sight of a frustrated Daniel. 

“Idiot. I want you to be my boyfriend,” Daniel cried out, crossing his arms with a huff (which was quite difficult to do, considering Woojin was still awkwardly sitting in his lap). 

“Wait, wh—” Woojin was cut off by a quick kiss, Daniel’s lips pressing against for a second before pulling away, leaving both of their faces red. 

“Date me?” Daniel asked weakly, hesitantly reaching out for Woojin’s hands. He spared him the anxiety, meeting him halfway and intertwining their hands. 

“Of course, Niel. This time, you can actually take me on a date after all that flirting.” Woojin giggled at the exasperated look Daniel shot him, letting his head drop into the crook of the other’s neck. 

The humidity of the attic, the heat of their bodies so close to each other, the numbing sting of Woojin’s lips—it felt like home. 

  
  


Daniel and Woojin returned home on Sunday night, giggling about something or the other, hands linked. The sight of him in the comfort of their kitchen pulled at Woojin, and he found himself leaning forward to absently press a kiss to the corner of Daniel’s lips. It was returned with a thumb rubbing along his neck, fondness sparking in Daniel’s eyes. A loud gasp from behind them made Woojin jerk away in alarm, preparing for a confrontation. 

Instead, he was greeted with the sight of Daehwi and Jinyoung, mouths hanging open in shock. Daehwi had dropped his bag of popcorn, and Woojin could tell that the other was  _ not  _ happy, furious murmurings of what looked like his name and various curses rapidly falling from his lips. Jinyoung was in a similar state, but he was too shell shocked to say anything. 

Seongwoo swung around the corner, book brandished in his hands like a weapon. Woojin rolled his eyes; finally, a normal welcome home. But the instant his eyes focused in on their linked hands, a wry smirk spread across Seongwoo’s face. 

“I totally called it. PAY UP BITCHES,” Seongwoo hollered, cupping his mouth as he tossed the book aside, watching the others file into the kitchen with cat like eyes. Varying looks of satisfaction and dejection crossed over their faces at the sight of Daniel and Woojin (who had moved into a small corner, still holding hands). 

“Wooj, I love you guys and support you, but couldn’t you have gotten together  _ after  _ the trip?” Sungwoon whined, stomping his foot as he forked over several bills to an increasingly smug Seongwoo and Minhyun. 

Woojin pursed his lips, observing the mass exchange of money with squinted eyes. A muffled gasp from Daniel made his eyes slide to the right, eyebrow raised at the horrified look on his face. Daniel’s right hand had flown to cover his mouth, eyes widening. 

“Is  _ this  _ why you encouraged me so much to invite Woojin on this trip?! I knew you were being way too supportive,” Daniel said in accusatory tone, glaring at Minhyun with a pout. The elder’s wink and satisfied smirk was enough of an answer, and Woojin grunted from the sudden weight of Daniel’s head on his shoulder. 

“I can’t believe our relationship was orchestrated by these fools,” Daniel groaned into Woojin’s shoulders, words almost lost in the fabric of his parka. 

“Okay, but seriously—I’m happy for you guys. Wooj, you are telling me  _ all  _ the details tonight,” Jihoon congratulated and threatened Woojin in the same breath, eyes turning into slits as he stalked out of the kitchen, Guanlin following close behind after a similar congratulations. 

Woojin accepted the rest of the sentiments with slightly reddened cheeks, hand warm in Daniel’s hold. At some point, he had been tugged closer to the other, his back pressed against Daniel’s chest. He could feel Daniel’s hair tickling his cheek, and though he was used to the lack of distance, it still flustered Woojin. 

Once the last member left the kitchen (Jisung, with a rushed “Congrats! Be safe!”), Daniel turned Woojin around, a gleeful grin dancing on his lips. Woojin gave a look of confusion, eventually melting into understand as Daniel held his arms wide open, eyebrows dancing in invitation. He rolled his eyes, but complied, stepping into the embrace. 

Hugging Daniel was an almost religious experience; it felt like a warm fireplace, heat curling around his body as they pressed together, arms finding their way around each other. Woojin wrapped his arms around Daniel’s waist tightly, resting his chin on the slope of his shoulder, snuggling into the hug. He could feel the tip of Daniel’s nose against his neck, the cold feeling making him slightly jump. Woojin relaxed into the hug when Daniel began to rub tiny circles into his back, eyes sliding shut with a content sigh. 

“Wanna go on a date to the convenience store next to the practice rooms tomorrow?” Daniel mumbled, pulling back with a teasing smile. Woojin rolled his eyes, but an answer was already at the tip of his tongue. 

“Would I ever say no to you?” 

  
  
  


It was coming, and soon. Woojin felt it, and it pained him to be around the rest of the group, not as hyper as he used to be. He prayed Daniel hadn’t noticed, but with how observant the other was, (and how many dates they went on) him realizing was inevitable. Woojin’s heart ached for more time —but that was one thing he couldn’t have. 

Woojin was dying, or “collapsing,” as his grandfather called it. He felt it in the stuttering of his breath, the exhaustion that him like a train after practice. He saw it in the bags under his eyes, growing darker with every passing day. He smelled it in bursts of bright red, the scent of iron filling the bathroom once he managed to lock the door behind him. He heard it in the crack of his bones, his body growing weaker. 

Old age always hit stars all at once, never over time. 

Woojin knew his time would soon be up, so he got to writing. He sat in front of his desk, clear of everything, except: ten pristine pieces of paper as long as his arm, and the new set of pens that he had bought with Daniel during their day off. Woojin slowly—painstakingly slow—took a pen out of the box and pulled a paper to the spot in front of him. 

And he wrote:  _ Dear Guanlin, Dear Daehwi, Dear Jinyoung, Dear Jihoon, Dear Jaehwan, Dear Seongwoo, Dear Minhyun, Dear Sungwoon, Dear Jisung, _

_ I am a star. And before you even begin to laugh, no I don’t mean like a celebrity. I mean, I am literally a star that crashed to Earth. Remember when you guys mentioned it, during the produce 101 days? I was too scared to tell you then, even if everyone was a little enthralled with the idea. I’ve honestly forgotten how old I am, but I’ve been around since the three kingdoms, so take what you will from that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you from the very beginning…  _

 

Woojin found himself faltering on Daniel’s, hand hovering over the paper. He had already spent hours, confined in his room, doors locked shut. The nine other letters were sealed away, carefully put aside in his bottom drawer. 

The letter for Daniel turned into two, three, four, eventually eight pages, the words just flowing from Woojin’s pen. Once he began, he couldn’t stop, often going into tangents as he wrote. Every memory, small or big, spilled out, swirling around in his mind as he wrote. 

 

_ “Come here and give me a kiss,” Daniel whined, a lump under the blankets of their bed. Woojin had painstakingly bartered with the others, eventually coming to an agreement about their sleeping arrangements by agreeing to an infinite amount of favors. But it was worth it to see Daniel first thing every morning.  _

_ “Or what?” Woojin teased, rolling over anyways to get closer to Daniel, but wanting to see his reaction. He got what he wanted, a silly pout overtaking Daniel’s features.  _

_ “Or I’ll tell Jisung you were the one who stole his cake!”  _

_ “You ate it with me, idiot,” Woojin smirked, pulling down the blankets to reveal a pouting Daniel. He tilted his head down to press a lingering kiss against the pout, smiling when he felt Daniel’s lips melt into a smile.  _

 

Woojin’s lips tugged into a smile, jotting down a small note in the margin of the letter about how ridiculously adorable Daniel’s pout is. He kept writing, letting his mind wander again. 

 

_ “Woah… there’s so many fishies,” Woojin mumbled, face pressed as humanly close as it could be against the glass, watching the colorful school of fish swim by. He ignored Daniel’s incredulous chuckles from behind him to twist to the side and watch the other tank, letting out a little squeal.  _

_ “It looks like you like the fish more than me,” Daniel snorted, letting himself be tugged by their linked hands to the next habitat, easy going smile splayed across his lips (unfortunately, Woojin knew he was smiling, but couldn’t see it due to the mask. It had taken weeks of begging them before the managers decided to let them out on their own, and even then, they were clad in clothes that cloaked their figure).  _

_ “Is that even a question? Of course I love them more than I love you,” Woojin retorted, laughing brightly at the mock hurt in Daniel’s gasp, shrieking seconds later when he felt tickles run up his side. He tried to move away, but was caged in by Daniel’s longer limbs, surrounded by the scent of peaches.  _

_ “So, you love me?” Came the whisper, said so casually that Woojin almost tripped head first into the otter pool they had been observing. He felt a hand steady him, cheeks burning bright red at Daniel’s words.  _

_ “Like you didn’t already know,” Woojin whispered back, attempting to secretly (and failing) fan his cheeks with his free hand, ignoring the playful grin on Daniel’s face.  _

_ “It’s nice to hear it,” Daniel hummed, and before he even realized what was happening, a chaste kiss was pressed to Woojin’s cheek, followed by giggling. Woojin tried to scowl, but couldn’t stop the wide smile his lips burst into, allowing himself to be pulled into Daniel’s side.  _

 

Woojin wished he could cry. He wanted to know his emotions were true, because somewhere along the lines, words stopped being enough for him. Woojin had experienced the members’ tears, holding their hands and supporting them all the way through. But he himself couldn’t shed tears; the fact that no one had ever seen him cry had turned into a running joke in the group, the members determined to see him cry. 

 

_ A hesitant knock on the door. Woojin felt his throat close up, eyes shining dangerously. He was drowning in a hoodie he had stolen from Daniel’s closet, just his eyes peeking out from underneath several blankets. He felt his breath stutter, mouth opening and closing like a fish as a second knock followed, even quieter than the first.  _

_ “Come in,” Woojin finally said, realizing the silence had gone on for too long. He didn’t even know if the person on the other side was still there, but if it was who he thought it was, they probably were.  _

_ The sight of Daniel awkwardly lingering in the doorway confirmed his suspicions, making his heart ache painfully. Woojin felt the beginnings of a smile when he saw the giant sparrow plushie in Daniel’s hands; he had won it for him at the arcade last week, eyes turning into half crescents as he pushed it into Woojin’s hands at the end of the night.  _

_ “Can I sit?” Daniel pointed to the small space between Woojin and the wall, looking smaller than he ever had. He nodded slowly, letting Daniel carefully position them so Woojin was half on his lap, his arms wrapped around the smaller man. The sparrow plushie rested gently in his lap, both of them careful not to jostle it. _

_ “I want to cry, Niel. I want to cry so bad,” Woojin whispered roughly, voice shaking with every word. He felt Daniel still under him, but he continued to take in shuddering breaths, trembling. He hadn’t felt this isolation in so long, this deep seated pain one could only learn from being lonely for too long.  _

_ “It’s okay to cry, Wooj. You lost someone important to you,” Daniel whispered back just as roughly, arms tightening around him. And the dams broke.  _

_ Woojin let out a dry sob, knowing that tears wouldn’t fall. But he had no other way to release this pain ripping through him, memories of the quaint little grandma he would eat breakfast with in the mornings back in Busan rushing in. He had received a blunt, to the point phone call last night, and it had felt like a slap in the face. Woojin knew what it was like to watch loved ones die, cursed with the knowledge that he wouldn’t be following them any time soon. He was doomed to forge relationships with people, only to watch their timely (not for him) demise.  _

_ “I love you, Woojin. I know it’s a small comfort, but I will stay with you. I told you, didn’t I? Kang’s always keep their promises,” Daniel finished with a small smile, cupping Woojin’s cheek and angling his face so they could see each other. Woojin brushed his fingers against Daniel’s cheek, the other hand reaching up to cover Daniel’s hand.  _

_ “I know _ — _ I’ll stay with you too. I love you.” Woojin’s heart broke as he pushed the words past his lips, a pressure building in his chest at how content Daniel looked. He was lying to this amazing human, and he couldn’t bring himself to say the truth. Woojin let himself be pulled into another hug, his cries for his lost friend and Daniel muffled by the fabric of the other’s shirt.  _

 

Woojin put Daniel’s finished letter in the pocket of the blazer Daniel had left in his room after the last awards show, knowing the other would come to look for it within the next two weeks. His hands shook as he put everything away, neatly placing every pen back where it came from, shuffling papers till they were perfectly aligned. It was the little things to bring order into his life, an order that would soon be thrown for a loop. 

Woojin stared around his room once, before slowly getting up to go meet the members in the living room. He let himself be pulled into the couch, squished between Jaehwan Guanlin. He let Jihoon throw a controller at his head, cries of ‘fight me’ echoing through the room. He let Daniel press a quick kiss to the crown of his head, a murmured ‘I’ll see you after my schedule’ delivered to his ear. He let Jisung shove a half eaten carton of fried rice into his hands, eyes narrowed until he finished it. 

He let himself be pulled into the tide of the group, because who knew how much time he had left to experience it. 

  
  


The day it happened was painfully normal. 

Daniel walked into the practice room hysterically laughing over Jaehwan’s failed attempts at flirting with Minhyun, bumping shoulders with Woojin. He was still tired from taking care of Woojin last night, rubbing his eyes repeatedly to get rid of the exhaustion. Woojin had been suffering from a series of fevers for the past few days, going up and down in terms of health. The company doctor had looked puzzled, taking frantic notes every time Woojin was brought in. 

Daniel snorted, watching the aforementioned man out of the corner of his eyes. He certainly didn’t  _ look _ sick right now. Woojin was joyfully shrieking as he was abruptly slung over Minhyun’s shoulders, increasing in volume as the elder began to spin around. Daniel slumped against the wall, eyes crinkling in amusement as he watched his boyfriend make a fool out of himself, attempting to regain his balance after being gently set down. 

“You’re a little sadist, aren’t you?” Seongwoo asked from next to him, the loose grin on his face and darting eyes telling Daniel he was laughing about the same thing he was. 

“Yes, I  _ love  _ watching Woojin get tossed around like a rag doll,” Daniel quipped, grinning as Woojin attempted to get on Sungwoon’s back this time. Seongwoo snorted, but the flash of amusement in his eyes gave him away. 

A loud crash made both of their gazes fly back towards the center of the room, and Daniel felt more than saw his water bottle slip out of his hands and crash to the floor, water pooling around his feet. It all happened so quickly. One minute he was laughing, messing around with them. The next, he was flat on the floor, unresponsive except for narrowed eyes. 

 

Daniel could hear his heart aggressively beat against his chest, body numb as he pushed past a hysterical Jisung on the phone, crashing to the floor. His knees stung, but he could barely tell, the sound of his blood thrumming and Woojin’s weak jumbled chirping being the only thing entering his mind. 

“—happening?” 

“Call the fucking hosp—” 

“—ojin, please say something.” 

“Why is this—” 

The words rushed past Daniel’s ears, but all he saw was the bright red staining the corners of Woojin’s lips, which were still turned up into a smile. He took a sharp inhale when his eyes finally opened wider than a crack, which turned into a choked gasp. 

A ring of light lined each of Woojin’s eyes, glowing silver. His eyes looked impossibly dark, and Daniel felt like he was drowning in them. He maneuvered Woojin’s head into his lap almost on autopilot, jumping when a tear fell onto the other’s ashen face, revealing a hint of his tan skin. Daniel still felt frozen in the moment, not aware of the chaos impending behind him. 

All he could see was Woojin—Woojin and his tiny snaggletooth, Woojin and his tan skin that was slowly turning gray, Woojin and his smiley lips that were pulled into a grimace and stained red, Woojin and his soft, yet calloused hands that felt rough and limp in Daniel’s grip. Woojin and his unwavering life force that was anything but right now; it felt like Daniel could see the light going out, seeping out of Woojin’s body bit by bit. 

“Why?” Was all Daniel could ask, voice cracking terribly. He heard the room go silent, their presences settling at Daniel’s sides. He saw Woojin’s eyes open fully, and another wave of pain ripped through him. He had no explanation for what he had realized in that moment, but Daniel knew it was true: Woojin was leaving them— _ him.  _

“He… he’s  _ dying, _ ” Daehwi choked out from his right, voice heavy with tears. A deadly silence gripped the room, and he heard Jisung’s phone crash to the ground, the sound of: 

_ “Hello, sir? Sir, are you still on the line? Sir, the ambulance is on it’s way,”  _

echoing through the room. 

A broken cough caught their attention once more, eyes flying to Woojin, who was attempting to sit up. Daniel made distressed sounds, laying a feather light hand on Woojin’s chest to stop him, weakly smiling when Woojin glared, but acquiesced. He felt hesitant fingers on his cheek, which had become wet at some point. 

“Don’t cry… idiot,” Woojin hissed out, wincing at the effort. 

“Shut up, dumbass! We have the right to cry,” Daniel scolded, a fresh wave of tears spilling down his face. His eyes stung from the tears that continued to fall, breath catching with every sob that racked his body. Daniel knew the others were in pain, and wanted to hold Woojin too, but he couldn’t let himself let go of him, hands curled around Woojin’s possessively. 

Something in Woojin changed at the broken tears, the fight whooshing out of him in one go. Daniel could see it in the way his body sagged, gaining hundreds of years in front of their very eyes. His breathing became more ragged, and Daniel bit his cheek hard at the sight of blood after a full body cough. 

“I… I—I want to live, Niel. I want to—” Another cough shaking Woojin’s body cut him off, his mouth turning redder and redder with a new layer of blood. 

“I want to fucking stay alive. I want to get old with you guys,” Woojin cried out, eyes barely open as he openly sobbed this time, weakly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Daniel sobbed harder in response, reaching out to help Woojin with his mouth on reflex, slowly patting away the blood. 

“Woojinie hyung, please stay alive,” Jinyoung gasped through his tears, face blotchy and red from the tears streaming down his face. The other’s faces were the exact same, and their cries were similar to Jinyoung’s as well. None of them knew what was going on, but the sentiment was clear in their minds. 

“W-what the hell is happening to you?” Daniel couldn’t help but ask, pushing past the hiccups rising in his throat. His vision was blurred from his tears, but he kept his eyes trained down at Woojin, who was having more difficulty breathing as time went on. 

“I—too much—not enough time—to explain. L-letters,” Woojin choked through a mouthful of blood, turning his head to the side to spit it out before staring up at Daniel again, eyes glazed over. He mentally noted the mention of letters, pushing it to the side for now. Daniel wasn’t even sure if the other could still see him, but he attempted a pitiful smile at Woojin. 

“Smiling for me? Ev—even now,” Woojin managed to force out, trembles running up and down his body. Daniel instinctively tightened his hold, a burning feeling in his throat spreading through his body. He could feel hands gripping onto him, he could see nine more hands find their way forward to touch Woojin, but all he could see was Woojin gazing straight at him, eyes slanted with fondness and lips quirked in the smile that drove Daniel crazy. 

In a spurt of strength, a hand fisted around Daniel’s collar and dragged him closer to Woojin. He felt hot breath curl around his ear, Woojin’s lips brushing against his cheek. They were so close that Daniel knew his tears were falling onto Woojin’s face, but he ignored it to wrap the frail body as close to his as he could. 

“Daniel, I… lo—I love you,” Woojin whispered, voice hoarse and barely above a quiet murmur. But Daniel heard it, his heart squeezing painfully as the hand that had been curled around his neck moments ago went limp. He knew what it meant, but didn’t move an inch, pressing his face into Woojin’s chest.

A wail ripped out of Daniel’s lips, rising in volume as his shoulders shook. He curled his hands into the fabric of Woojin’s shirt, not caring that his onslaught of tears was wetting the fabric. He let his tears fall freely, breath coming out in ragged spurts, eyes pressed shut. Daniel felt desperate hands against his back, trying to pull him off the floor, pull him away from Woojin, pull him out of the room. 

The last thing Daniel saw, through puffy eyes and never ending tears, was Woojin’s limp body gathered in Seongwoo’s arms, a distraught look haunting his face. The studio doors slammed shut, and Daniel lost himself to an ocean of tears, head buried in his hands. 

  
  


The next few days passed by in a blur. Only two things happened of note: 

 

  1. _Woojin’s disappearance_



“H-his body!” Was all that rushed out of Jisung’s mouth the next day, a loud bang alerting the members of his entrance. The elder had basically been dragged away by managers to the hospital, too numb to even protest. 

“What?” Jihoon snapped, exhaustion dripping from his voice. They hadn’t slept a wink, sitting around in somber silence all night, small sniffles and tears breaking it every once in a while. Everyone was tense, nerves frazzled and patience thin. Daniel had shoved himself into the tiny space between the couch and the wall, eyes pressed shut. 

“It—gone—it just… turned into  _ ashes, _ ” Jisung whispered the last word hoarsely, hands flailing. Daniel cracked his eyes open, eyebrows furrowing at the sentence.  _ Ashes?  _

“What the hell does that even mean?” Seongwoo was the one to speak up this time, lips pulled down in a frown. The bags under his eyes were darkening by the second, but Daniel knew they all looked the same. 

“The d-doctor said he walked in this morning… and Woojin’s body was g-gone. All that was on the bed—” Jisung choked on a broken sob this time, hands trembling. “—was a pile of ashes.” 

And Daniel wondered what the hell that meant, what the hell it meant for their destiny when they couldn’t even properly mourn their best friend’s body, what the hell it meant it that Daniel kept dreaming of glowing eyes and snaggletooths. 

 

  1. _Woojin’s letters_



Entering his room had been difficult. Actually spending time in his room had been unbearable, but Daniel had forced himself, locking the door behind him. His hands shook terribly, but no tears came—he was empty of them. 

It was too empty; Daniel was accustomed to the sight of Woojin snoring away on his bed, or Woojin sitting still as a statue in his chair in the dark while gaming, Jihoon (most likely) in the other chair. Daniel was accustomed to the sound of Woojin greeting him, childish laughter following whatever he had came in to tell the other. 

The sight of  _ Daniel’s  _ blazer hanging in Woojin’s open closet brought a surge of emotions, his heart feeling hollow as he walked towards it, almost in a trance. The fabric felt stiff; most likely, it had been hanging here for weeks, left untouched after the night he had given it to Woojin. 

 

_ “It’s too fucking cold for this shit,” Woojin hissed, another bout of shivers running through his body as a gust of wind blew through the empty parking lot.  _

_ They were waiting outside the awards hall, gathered in a large group. Daniel was snug in his blazer, arm wrapped around Woojin, who couldn’t seem to stop shivering (he had heard the younger mumbling something about moon cycles and planet alignments, but it hadn’t made any sense, so Daniel had tuned it out).  _

_ “How could the driver get lost? He’s picked us up from here, like, a thousand times,” Woojin muttered, tightening his hold around Daniel’s waist. At this point, the shivers were beginning to alarm him, and he pulled away for a second. Daniel ignored the impatient whine from Woojin, slowly unbuttoning his blazer.   _

_ “Here, take my blazer,” Daniel said, but he had already taken it off, leaving no room for argument. He could see Woojin open his mouth to, no doubt, bicker over it, but the blissful feeling of the blazer wrapped around his body shut him up real quick.  _

_ Daniel held back a giggle at the pure mirth displayed across Woojin’s face as he tugged the blazer closer. His heart also did a little skip at how tiny Woojin looked in Daniel’s blazer, almost double his size. Daniel was definitely going to shower him with kisses once they were home, already figuring out how to escape to their room as fast as possible. _

However, the sound of paper crumpling was new to Daniel, who had owned this blazer for over a year. His curiosity got the best of him, and his eyebrows flew up at the feeling of a thick letter shoved into the side pocket. Daniel pulled it out, only for it to nearly fumble out of his hands from shock. 

A tiny note was attached to the envelope: 

_ Niel, before you read this, check my bottom drawer for nine more letters. Give it to everyone at the same time.  _

It was undoubtedly from Woojin, and this alone was what propelled him to stiffly walk over to the desk, mechanically leaning down to open the drawer. He wasn’t surprised to see nine more letters, sealed away with similar sticky notes, except they had each of the member’s names on them. Daniel gathered them in his arms, careful not to bend or crumple any of them. 

“I found these in his room,” Daniel said, barely above the pitch of a whisper. But his soft voice was enough to capture everyone’s attention; all they did these days was sit around in the living room or kitchen area, quiet save for the tv that would occasionally play in the background. The company had called an emergency hiatus, leaving fans baffled, but accepting, which had warmed Daniel’s heart. 

“Are these… letters? From W-woojinie hyung?” Daehwi’s breaking voice tore at his heart, but all he could give was a delayed nod, his hold on the letter tightening. The rest slowly grabbed their respective letters, taking dilatory movements to open them. 

“I’m going outside. I need to be alone for this,” Minhyun said abruptly, only one line into his letter from what Daniel could tell; the elder had opened it quickly, barely glancing at it before speaking. The room quickly emptied after that, everyone trudging off to find their own place to read their letter. 

Daniel slumped onto the couch, letter gripped in his hands. He had picked up on how much thicker it was compared to the others, but he wasn’t surprised. (What he had with Woojin had been special—it had been enough to make him want to throw caution to the wind, to leave the idol life a little too early one day and find a tiny home and make a life out of cats, morning walks, and waking up next to one man for the rest of his life.) 

The sound of the seal tearing filled the room, and Daniel’s fingers moved quickly, shuffling the papers out of the envelope. Familiar handwriting filled his vision, and his lips trembled against his will. 

_ Niel… I’m sorry. If you’re reading this, I burned out. I’m sorry, god, I’m so sorry.  _

The words blurred as he read on, and the pages became dotted with tiny drops. Daniel’s broken sobs filled the room, and he fell asleep with the pages clutched to his chest, drying tears marking his face and emotional exhaustion haunting his mind. 

  
  


Daniel visited Busan the next day, driving up there again (except this time he was  _ alone,  _ and it felt like there was a gaping hole in his life). The drive had been miserably long, and what he once found exciting was bland and dreary. He went through the motions; he visited his mother, visited the tombs, dropped by the places he had visited throughout his childhood. 

The last day, he bought the same cheap, peach soju from the convenience store in front of the beach, buying one too many bottles. Daniel bagged them and made the lengthy trek to the  _ spot, _ the sound of clinking bottles his only company. The rocks looked more intimidating this time, dark and ominous in the night sky. 

The waves crashing against the shore filled his mind, and Daniel finally saw the source of the sound as he rounded the corner. The clearing was the same; even the tiny heart they had scratched into the center of it was there, slowly fading from time. Daniel took a seat right next to it, dropping the bottles without a care. 

The alcohol burned his throat, reminding him that  _ he  _ was still alive, if only physically. Daniel finished two bottles in record time, skin flushing rapidly. His eyes were teary from staring at a point in the horizon for too long, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up, not yet. As he finished the third bottle, Daniel risked a look up at the sky. 

The stars seemed brighter that night, and Daniel wondered if Woojin saw them differently, if he saw a history in them that the rest weren’t privy to. And when a tiny star seemed to sparkle a little differently, Daniel felt tears begin to fall. 

This ache in his chest was foreign to Daniel; it was an ache that wouldn’t go away, festering in his heart and only worsening as the days passed. The soju burned in his chest, but it didn’t feel any different than what he was already feeling. Daniel was unused to this deep seated pain, and every day he woke up with tears ready. 

The light of dawn appeared, bleeding into the horizon line. Daniel was still perched on the edge of a rock, bottles rolling around him. He shivered in the morning wind, but didn’t move to leave, eyes trained on the ocean. A bitter laugh rippled through him, thinking of the past year. 

“You made me break a promise for the first time, Woojin.” 

  
  
  


Woojin closed his eyes for the last time on a Tuesday; his core burned out for the first time at 4:45 AM, and the elements in his body reacted for the last time. It was quick, painless, and then, he was just  _ gone.  _

  
  
  


Woojin opened his eyes—his  _ real  _ eyes—for the first time on another Tuesday; he heard his heart—his  _ real  _ heart—beat for the first time at 11:02 AM. He smelled the scent of the ocean (and it was different, it was different because he was fucking  _ alive  _ and he could feel his heart beat in his chest and hear his blood thrum under his skin and he could feel the sand between his toes). 

He knew he should be thinking, questioning, wondering, all of the above. The same outfit he had burned away in clung to his skin, sticky with heat and sea salt. But all Woojin could do was take a deep breath and burst into nonsensical laughter, sucking the air in with every laugh, which only set more off. Woojin was  _ human _ —he was…  _ alive.  _

The feeling of sitting up felt so new that he nearly laid back down, but pushed past the urge so he could inspect his surroundings. Woojin knew where he was without even looking around (where else could he have ended up, if not here?) The feeling of the ocean spraying against his cheek was sufficient, and Woojin knew he had to find the closest payphone (and if the jangling of just enough coins in his pocket told him anything, it was that even destiny wanted this to happen). 

The feeling of metal under his fingertips brought hysterical tears rushing to his eyes, and he visibly jumped at the feeling of real tears slipping down his face. The taste of salt burst in his mouth, and the onslaught of tears only increased in strength. Woojin typed the one number he had memorized into the keypad with shaking hands, grip so weak that the phone nearly slipped from his hand. 

Three rings, and a click. 

“Hello?” 

And Woojin cried into the phone, sobs rising in volume as they racked his body, which was slowly sliding down the side of the phone booth. He didn’t know if he was crying for joy or a deep rooted sadness that he could feel through the phone, or perhaps a mix of the two. But something in it caused the person on the other line to stay on the phone, breathing growing shakier as the seconds ticked by. 

“H-hello?” 

“Is this—” 

“Please say something—”

Put it on speake—”

“Let me say something!” 

“It could be a prank, for all we kno—” 

A wave of voices rushed through the phone’s measly speaker, and Woojin cried harder; he made an unsightly image, slumped into a corner of the booth, snot and tears streaming down his face, skin already red and blotchy, hair unkempt, and clothes wrinkled beyond repair. Woojin had never felt happier. 

“Please say something,” A voice crackled through, tinged with desperation as his voice caught, thick with an unrecognizable emotion. Woojin gripped the phone harder, mouth going dry. 

“I-it’s me, guys.” 

A suffocating wave of noise erupted from the other side, sounding like the buzzing of bees in Woojin’s ear. The dopey grin spreading across his face fought off any headache from the noise, pressing the phone so hard against his ear that it dug into his skin. 

“How?!” 

“T-there’s no way,” 

“—an’t be real.” 

 

“....Wooj?” Came the hesitant question, and everyone held their breath in anticipation. Woojin slowly exhaled, careful to not make another noise as he collected his emotions. He pathetically patted at his eyes and cheeks, but the tears had seemingly made their home on his face. 

“Niel,” Woojin couldn’t help but cry into the phone, making way for more sobs to fill the booth, body shaking terribly. He ignored the hysterics from the other end, digging the heels of his palm into his eyes so hard that he saw stars, which was a little ironic at this point. 

“How? How is this p-possible?” 

“Does that really matter right now, Hoonie? He’s coming home.” And Woojin felt like his heart could burst from the confidence in Daniel’s voice, unwavering even as each side burst into tears. 

“He’s right. We can ask him questions later—once he’s back in our sight. Woojinie, please say something,” Seongwoo requested gently, and his reassuring voice was enough to push Woojin over the edge, heart swelling with so much emotion. 

“I—I’m coming h-home. _ I’m coming home _ ,” Woojin blubbered into the phone, knuckles white from how tightly he was holding the phone. 

  
  


Woojin became accustomed to life again. It took time, and it was still a work in progress. Returning home had included hysterical sobbing, eventually turning into furious yelling and scoldings. Woojin had tried to hide behind Daniel—

(Who had greeted him with a bear hug, grabbing him and swinging him around and kissing the life out of him, till it felt like his lips were going to fall off. It had been warmth and love, the feeling of coming home embodied by the blinding smiles, kisses pressed all over his face, and an arm slung around his shoulders)

—but only to discover that the other had begin to scold him as well, only a hint of teasing in his voice. Woojin had let the others scold him; he knew it was comforting, the fact that he was there in the first place to scold. And going from the freely flowing tears of all eleven people, the sentiment was mutual. 

It had taken numerous discussions (and even a few powerpoint slides at one point, bringing Woojin to the verge of tears as he tried to understand how he was alive) before everyone fully understood what he had been, how long he had been alive, how his old body had worked. 

(When the elders found out that Woojin had often gone weeks without eating  _ or  _ sleeping, a loud surge of furious yelling had filled the dorms. The younger ones had run off with sheepish shrugs and smiles—after their fair share of yelling at him—leaving Woojin to deal with their wrath alone. 

Jisung had started crying again, face scrunched up in unexplainable pain as he reached out and gathered Woojin in his arms, patting him down to reassure himself that the other was  _ alive.  _ Sungwoon and Minhyun had returned from the kitchen with leftovers, ignoring Woojin’s whines to layer food onto a plate. But the small frown on Daniel’s lips had broken Woojin, so he ignored his stubbornness and shoveled food into his mouth.) 

Woojin forgot that he was human, sometimes. He would go days without sleeping or eating properly and terrify everyone by collapsing during practice. 

 

_ A thud, followed by chilling silence. An immobility had overtaken their bodies, and Daniel felt like he was experiencing that day all over again. He rushed to Woojin’s side in a trance, breathing beginning to grow ragged at the sight of his pale, motionless body.  _

_ “I-is he _ — _ ” Guanlin began to ask, voice shaking. The panic grew under their skin, ballooning, waiting to pop gently, or explode with vigor. A sharp inhale grasped all of their attention, and the sight of Woojin groaning made Daniel sag with relief.  _

_ “Why are you all standing around me?” Woojin asked weakly, attempting to sit up. Daniel scowled, but aided him, a scolding ready on his lips.  _

_ “YAH! How could you scare us like that?!” Daehwi beat him to it, pushing past the members to pounce on Woojin, who let out a tiny ‘oomph.’ It triggered a domino like reaction, the rest of the younger members jumping onto Woojin and Daehwi seconds later, similar yells falling from their lips.  _

 

Since then, Woojin had been accompanied by Daniel (or Jaehwan, if the other had a schedule) to every meal, narrowed eyes making sure that he finished at least two servings. It had annoyed him at first, but he couldn’t ignore the warmth that bloomed in his chest at how much everyone cared. 

During the first few days, many of them had taken to coming over to Woojin at random times, simply to hug him or blankly stare at him, the occasional hand reaching out to poke at him. Woojin had tilted his head in confusion at first, but had realized that they were making sure he was…  _ alive.  _ And it birthed a new sort of pain, a furious aching that battled itself: blaming himself on one side, and sympathizing with their pain on the other. 

Woojin’s nights were normally broken by warm bodies sliding in next to him (in fact, it had became such a serious issue that Daniel, the person he normally slept with, had been forced to create a schedule with the other members for the next few weeks). It was normally the youngest of the group; they had been hit the hardest, especially Daehwi, who had experience with losing someone, and had almost went off the rails after Woojin. 

But he was more than okay with it, sometimes even seeking out certain members to be held. (He remembers waking up from a nightmare of burning ashes and excoriating flames, shaking with muffled tears in the corner of his bed. He remembers gentle, calming arms surrounding him and pulling him in, the scent of Jisung and Minhyun filling him up. Woojin wishes he could do more for the genuine fear he sees flash in their eyes when he does something a little  _ too _ reckless, but all he can give them is lingering embraces and intertwined hands.) 

Woojin learned to live again, little by little. 

  
  


“Wake up,” A voice murmured against his lips, and Woojin groggily shook his head, not quite ready to wake up. He could feel the morning sun against his face, but he just shoved it deeper into the pillow, content with sleeping a few more hours. 

A burst of cold air hit his body as the blanket was tugged away, and Woojin let out a sulky whine. He could hear the other’s amused chuckles, feel his probing hands run up and down his torso in attempts to get him up. Woojin resisted the urge to shriek and giggle at the feather light touch, pressing his eyes shut against the world. 

“Come on. It’s time to wake up, Woojinie,” The voice rose to the normal volume, accompanied by a small kiss to the corner of his eye this time. Woojin opened his eyes a crack, giving his tormenter an unimpressed look. Daniel returned it with an innocent smile, eyes crinkling with mirth at how Woojin unwillingly rolled over, fully awake. 

“It’s ten in the morning, you heathen,” Woojin grumbled, eyes darting to check the digital clock that  _ just  _ turned ten. He ignored Daniel’s laughing, throwing his arm over his eyes to block out the sun. 

“It really isn’t a proper morning unless you call me heathen,” Daniel said instead, smile widening when Woojin flung his arm off to glare. It really was unfair how good the other looked in the morning, hair mussed up but beautifully set at the same time (Woojin enjoyed ruffling it on the mornings he woke up first, determined to make it look messy). 

“You know I won’t get out of bed unless you do  _ that _ ,” Woojin replied, shooting Daniel a smug grin. He stretched his arms out above him, nearly purring at how relaxed his body felt. 

Daniel rolled his eyes, but leaned down anyways. Woojin let his eyes flutter shut as their lips met, reaching out to snag the fabric of Daniel’s shirt and pull him closer. He pushed up into it, smiling into Daniel’s lips as the kiss deepened. Woojin felt his arms on either side of his face, effectively caging him in between Daniel’s arms. 

They separated, sharing soft smiles, noses brushing against each other. Daniel plopped down next to him, carelessly tossing his arm around Woojin’s waist and tugging them closer together. Woojin snuggled into the touch, releasing a tiny, content sigh. 

“I love you,” Slipped out of Woojin’s lips, barely a whisper in the silence of their room. 

“I love you too,” Whispered back Daniel, followed by a lingering kiss to his cheek. 

 

Woojin wasn't returning to the night sky anytime soon. 

  
  



End file.
